Hearts Popping

As Joy has been my intention lately, I've been noticing what I focus on. It all started one day when I was intentionally looking for hearts. I was seeing them pop up in the most unexpected places, it seemed everywhere. The long-lost heart-shaped stone found in the sandbox. On sidewalks, on graffiti walls. On my daughter's shoes and shirt. Even the clouds seemed to be floating by in a heart shaped dream, all purple and orange in the dusk sky. Seeing these hearts everywhere was magical. My own heart softened.

Now I notice my thoughts much more readily. 

I hear the judge a lot. I'm trying to have a conversation with the judge, find out where it's coming from. It seems to have helped me survive in the past, by separating things into what I like and what I don't like. Helped me manage things neatly.

But it's not working for me anymore. This judge just might turn into an angel if I want it to, if that's my intention.  Maybe I'll start seeing angels everywhere. Wouldn't that be neat?

Quiet Joy

August is a funny month. I usually dread the long, hot, mosquito-infested days, so much that sometimes I'd rather stay home than go out. Which can lead to idle thoughts, about what I should be doing, or some other craziness.  Also not good to stay at home too long if you're weaning.

But this month I've begun a journey, with the intention of bringing more joy into my life. And yes, I've discovered joy hiding in the most unexpected places.

Yesterday my daughter and I went food shopping. Afterwards I thought we could go to the park. She wanted to see the ducks. I was reluctant. What about all the meat and cheese in the car? But I decided to go with the flow. And see what would happen, if I tried not to force things, but just have an idea in the back of my mind. So I drove home to unnload the car quickly, and grabbed the camera. Off we went to the gardens!

As we meandered through the pathways, quiet joy filled my senses. I was lulled by the lazy droning of the bees, the fluttering butterflies. All going about doing their thing. I breathed in the heady scent of sweet blossoms everywhere. My daughter and I actually sat in a gazebo and snacked. Then she splashed in puddles. I watched the warm breeze blowing huge heart-shaped leaves nearby and dropped the container of cheese, all over the dirt. Oh well. That's what happens with a youngster tugging at your hand....laugh!

We look for frogs in fountains. We throw yellow-orange leaves into the pond. Dragonflies whir overhead, glittering blue metallic. Lucy's simple comments, "happy bird" and "feels good" as I carry her on my back heading back to the car, we feel a cool breeze against our sweaty skin.

Yes we saw the ducks, but felt so much more. I realized as we let ourselves be led by our senses and went further and further,  that everything was going to be all right. That's joy.